Interview with Essy Knopf

I thoroughly enjoyed Essy Knopf’s dystopian YA novel, Nepo. Full transparency, Essy is a friend. Essy Knopf is the creator of Wholesome Queers, the Meetup group I’ve been the organizer for since September of 2023. But my appreciation of the book is completely aside from that friendship. I would have liked it even if I had not known the author. And I am impatiently awaiting the sequel, progress on which is mentioned at the end of the interview (in case you are also wondering what is next for Shy and Agustin!)

Essy offered up some very thoughtful responses to my questions about Nepo and his writing process.

TPF: Every author seems to have their own preferences. How do you like to write? In silence? With music? Is there a particular time of day that suits you best? What are your biggest hindrances to writing and how do you proactively prepare for their onslaught?

Essy: I’m autistic and ADHD, so I’m highly distractible due to sensory sensitivities and executive dysfunction. To help with focus, I usually write with atmospheric music playing in the background. This helps block out distractions and keeps me in the “zone” since background noise can easily pull me out of my flow.

I also try to get up as early as possible—often as early as 3 a.m.—when the world is quiet, and there are minimal interruptions. I’m at my most productive in the morning because fatigue tends to hit me harder later in the day, especially since I manage a disability. I used to be a night owl but realized that late-night productivity was messing with my sleep cycle, as being around devices kept me too alert. Now, I use my early mornings to get things done—like breakfast, freshening up, walking the dogs, and handling chores—giving me at least two solid hours before I need to start work. That time flies by.

Ideally, I’d like to block out an entire day to write, but I’ve found that setting limits on how much time I spend writing actually helps facilitate the creative process. Knowing that I can only do something I’m passionate about for a limited time each day creates a sense of scarcity, which makes me more likely to dive into it with enthusiasm. If I block out an entire day, though, there’s a risk that it will start to feel like work rather than something I enjoy, and that turns it into toil. I’ve learned that when creativity feels like work, I’m less likely to throw myself into it with full energy.

One of my biggest hindrances to writing is not having a thoroughly outlined plot, character arcs, and themes before I begin. I’ve experienced the frustration of getting deep into the story and struggling with self-doubt about its quality. It can be demoralizing when I don’t have a clear plan in place. Having a solid, ironclad plan before diving in is really reassuring and helps me stay on track, making me much more productive.

TPF: Plotter or Pantser? Something in between?

Essy: I learned the hard way that I’m not a pantser. While I’ve had a lot of experience in the creative field and written countless novels (all unpublished), I don’t have much professional training in writing fiction. Being largely self-taught only gets you so far. When writing Nepo, I quickly realized how challenging it can be to pants my way through a story. It often leads to structural issues that can really cripple the narrative.

Working with a mentor and editor has been invaluable. She asks tough questions, tests my logic, examines character development, ensures the world-building is consistent, and makes sure the entire plan is airtight. She serves as my accountability partner and plays the role of devil’s advocate, which mirrors what my readers would do when they read my book. By addressing potential flaws upfront, we can strengthen the story and make sure everything fits together.

For me, plotting is essential, especially at this early stage in my writing career. Some people might find outlining restrictive, but I actually find it liberating. It’s like building a house—you need solid scaffolding to start, but once it’s in place, you can get creative with the décor. Knowing the structure is sound allows you to be more creative and flexible with the details.

TPF: Are there any initial images in your head or specific circumstances that launched this particular story?

Essy: The initial images that sparked Nepo were deeply tied to the feelings of disconnection and performance I experienced throughout my life, especially as a neurodivergent individual. Growing up undiagnosed with both autism and ADHD, I often felt like I was playing a role in a world that expected me to fit into a certain mold—one that didn’t quite fit my true self. I remember, even as a child, sensing a disconnect between my own ways of thinking and the expectations around me. This idea of “performance,” of masking who you truly are just to survive, is something that’s haunted me for years.

When I began working as a therapist, those early images of “living a performance” collided with the real, tangible struggles that my neurodivergent clients faced daily. I watched them navigate a world that constantly asked them to mask, to suppress, and to conform to neurotypical standards in ways that were exhausting, disorienting, and ultimately damaging to their sense of self.

That was the seed for Nepo—the image of a world where survival hinges on being someone else entirely, where the truth of who you are is not just hidden but erased. From there, the story evolved into one of identity and autonomy, embodied in Shayan, a clone whose very existence is a performance. The idea of a character like Shayan—someone who must play a role to survive but at the cost of losing himself—felt like the perfect parallel for how neurodivergents, including myself, often feel in a society that doesn’t accommodate our authentic ways of being.

The circumstances that launched the story weren’t just personal, though. They were rooted in my experiences as a writer and storyteller. I’ve always been drawn to speculative fiction, to the power of world-building, and the way it can hold up a mirror to our own world. In Nepo, I wanted to take the realities of systemic oppression, ableism, and neurodivergence and amplify them into a world where conformity is a matter of life and death. The themes of self-discovery and unmasking, the struggle to remain authentic in a world that demands performances—these were all inspired by my own lived experience, as well as the experiences of so many people I’ve worked with.

In short, Nepo began as a story born from my own journey with neurodivergence, my professional work as a therapist, and my passion for storytelling. It’s not just a sci-fi novel—it’s my way of processing and sharing what it feels like to live in a world that constantly asks us to become someone else.

TPF: The choice to have the entire story from Shy’s point of view created a wonderful sense of suspense. I found that his discoveries about himself and those around him, became my discoveries as well… confirming my suspicions or altering them. The essentially first person narrative gave the story a compelling immediacy. I appreciated the wild card characters and how I was not quite sure who to trust. Did any of the characters change from your initial vision of them? Did any of your characters surprise you as they became more real?

Essy: Shayan originally came across as much younger than I intended. I realized I needed to age him up by deepening his internal monologue. This was a craft decision I learned along the way, with invaluable guidance from my mentor and editor. To create a truly immersive experience for readers, there has to be complexity in the character, and you need to invite readers into that complexity. That’s one of the advantages of a first-person narrative. It forces you to refine the character’s voice to make it authentic and relatable, which was a process I had to work hard on.

The character of Agustín wasn’t originally part of the story—this was before I had outlined anything. Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure where the story was headed at that point. I had a vague idea, but nothing concrete. Then I realized Shayan needed a connection to someone like him as part of his journey of self-discovery, especially as he comes to terms with being neurodivergent.

He also needed to experience the harsh reality of the “have-nots” in the fictional city-state of Los Angeles, to understand the inequality that exists at the edges of his society’s consciousness. Agustín wasn’t just meant to be a catalyst for Shayan’s personal growth; he needed to be a fully realized character in his own right. In fact, Agustín will become a dual protagonist in the next book, and I’m excited for him to truly come into his own.

For this first book, I wanted to focus on the “nepo” experience, but I also hoped that the parallels between Shayan’s masking and Agustín’s experiences of being neurodivergent would emerge through their relationship. There were other characters, like Teodora, whom I wanted to humanize more. She’s initially very unpleasant to Shayan, but I eventually added backstories for many of the characters, along with twists and opportunities for further development that will unfold in later books.

TPF: I appreciated how through this story, the reader is allowed a safe space to consider the possibility of being neurodivergent. It can be a scary concept for a young/any person to think about. Placing that journey within a fantasy-adventure story in a context where being neurodivergent is not shamed (by the protagonists), is a subtly powerful aspect of the book. As a neurodivergent person, how did learning that you are neurodivergent affect you at the time? Was it easy to accept or did you fight against the idea? Has your perception of being neurodivergent changed since then?

Essy: Learning that I’m neurodivergent was a complex experience. It provided me with an explanation for why I’ve had a different experience of the world—why I’ve struggled, faced social misunderstandings, and encountered rejection. I’ve always had a way of thinking, communicating, and behaving that doesn’t align with neurotypical expectations, and as a result, I’ve often been judged, criticized, punished, or excluded. That can be incredibly demoralizing, and it can lead many of us to withdraw or doubt ourselves.

On top of that, neurodivergence often brings a range of challenges. Sensory and motor differences make certain environments—like academic settings—difficult to tolerate. Executive dysfunction makes even the simplest tasks, like planning or managing time, feel impossible. There’s also the added complexity of co-occurring depression and anxiety, often stemming from the stress and trauma of never feeling fully accepted or actively being punished for not fitting in. We crave co-regulation through others, but many neurodivergents are shut out because they’re seen as “too weird,” and their differences are misunderstood as choices or moral flaws.

When I first learned I was neurodivergent, I felt a mix of relief and anger. Relief, because finally, there was an explanation for all the struggles I’d faced. But anger too: anger at the lack of support I had received throughout my life. Why hadn’t anyone noticed and helped me access the treatment and support I needed? I felt grief at all the missed opportunities. the relationships that could have been salvaged, the skills I could have developed, and the self-shaming I could have avoided if I hadn’t been blamed by others or blamed myself for not being able to meet neurotypical expectations.

The possibility that I might be autistic had been suggested to me before, but at the time, I couldn’t accept it. My only concept of autism was the stereotype, one that many of us are familiar with. I’ve since learned that neurodivergence manifests very differently from person to person, which is one of the reasons it often goes undiagnosed.

It was difficult not to view the co-occurring challenges of autism—and later ADHD, when I was diagnosed 10 years later—as a curse, especially in light of the lack of social acceptance. However, with time, I’ve come to embrace my neurodivergence as a strength. Could I do without the challenges that come with it? Of course. But neurodivergence is at the heart of who I am, and it’s where my true value lies. It’s what I uniquely bring to the world. Over the years, I’ve become much more neuroaffirming in my approach.

TPF: Any favorite reads of late? What draws you to your favorite books? When perusing titles, what calls out to you?

Essy: I recently read Like A Love Story by Abdi Nazemian, an LGBTQ+ YA novel with an Iranian protagonist. It’s a sweet story, enriched by the cultural perspective of the protagonist. I also re-read Milk Fed by Melissa Broder, another LGBTQ+ fiction novel. While it’s fairly smutty, the prose is beautiful, and the story is deeply poignant.

What draws me to books most is a relatable (though not necessarily likable) protagonist and a compelling character arc. I tend to read widely, seeking stories that offer something unique, whether that’s a perspective I haven’t encountered, a marginalized identity I want to learn more about, or a singular life experience. When it comes to choosing titles, I’ll often follow the crowd and look for books that have received strong reviews (though I’ve learned that well-reviewed books don’t always quite live up to their reputations!). Recommendations from friends who share some of my interests and tastes are always super helpful!

TPF: I appreciate that your primary mystery finds a satisfying conclusion. I can’t express how frustrating it is when a book has a cliffhanger ending. When I buy a book, I want a whole book – not half of a book. But your story does leave some plot threads distinctly unfinished. It is a tricky thing to find that balance and (in my opinion) you found it… to have a satisfying book, but to also be clear that there is more to come. Are you working on the sequel? Any idea of how long it will take before we get to continue Shy and Agustin’s story?

Essy: It’s interesting that you mention the cliffhanger ending, as one reviewer actually criticized the plot for having one. Personally, I would describe the ending as conclusive but with a tease for the next novel, which I think is a good approach for a series. That said, I’m currently deep in the process of outlining the sequel.

My mentor and editor are helping with outlining the character beats, and I have a rough plan for a trilogy in place. Seeing reviews and feedback for the first book has been encouraging—even with the criticisms. Honestly, it’s better than the “author’s death kiss” of silence. It’s great to know that readers are engaging with the book and finishing it, which is more than I can say for the graveyard of books I’ve written that went unread!

I’m also working on a couple of non-fiction books about neurodivergence outside of fiction, so it’s a busy time. That said, I’m aiming to have the next book finished and released by 2026. Here’s hoping!

Many thanks to Essy Knopf for his willingness to share about his journey with Nepo! If you haven’t read Nepo, get it here!

You can learn more about Essy Knopf at https://www.essyknopf.com His website has a variety of practical insights for those who are neurodivergent. It is worth a visit!