February is here. This has always seemed a month laden with expectations. That which is, and that which is not. Whether one is coupled (tripled, quadrupled?) or single, Valentine’s Day can prod us with Hallmark expectations, and we can feel less than. We can feel specifically alone. Not good enough. Not lucky enough.

Many years ago, a longtime acquaintance, Kevin Spirtas, said a line in the play End of The World Party, and it has always stuck with me. “Sometimes I think our friends are our true lovers. The others are just people we bump into in the night.” In my own life, I have found that line rings true.

It can be easy to discount friendship. To see it as something less than romantic love. That is not to underappreciate romance, as that is a beautiful and magical thing. But friendship can also be uniquely wonderful. To have someone who puts up with my droning on about my current obsessions is really nice. Having someone to kindly call me out when I’m being an idiot, that’s significant and rare. Having people to care about with my actions, gets me out of my head and is a reality check on what is important.

So I’m choosing to see Valentine’s Day as a reminder to celebrate all of the love that is in my life. Love of all flavors. It is worth celebrating.

This is a poem by Scottish poet, Donna Ashworth. It seems particularly relevant this month.

The Invisible Magnet

Don’t prioritize your looks my friend,
as they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humor though,
will only get better with age.
Your intuition will grow and expand
like a majestic cloak of wisdom.

Your ability to choose your battles,
will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness,
for living in the now, will blossom.

Your desire to live each and every moment
will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what
(and who) is worth your time,
will grow and flourish,
like ivy on a castle wall.

Don’t prioritize your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore,
that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritize the uniqueness that make you you,
and the invisible magnet
that draws in other like-minded souls
to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better.

by Donna Ashworth

Check out her poetry books here:

https://donnaashworth.com/