Is there a reason for those things that happen to us…
My friend Alyssa posted some thoughts to her Buffy’s Life Lessons blog reflecting on the nature of suffering and the reasons why this or that happens to us. So it caused me to reflect on one of the core realities of life.
Some things happen for a reason. If you’re spending money like there’s no tomorrow, and then discover that you’re broke… there’s a reason. Actions have consequences. We can use those experiences as opportunities for learning.
But if your mother dies in a plane crash, or a stoplight is red when you hoped it would be green… some things just happen. I don’t believe that there’s an inherent reason for those things to happen. Life is full of random events. Even if there is a god, it’s not rational to believe that this supreme being is micromanaging every aspect of every moment of existence. We are not that important. If there is an all-powerful being, they obviously have way more important stuff to do. If you were GOD, would you really be focused on helping someone find their keys? I seriously doubt it. Even with omnipotence… that would be some serious micromanaging.
Stuff just happens. And we have to deal with it. We are each writing the script of our life. How we handle the unexpected is the core of our story.
But I do believe that we can learn from these sorts of events, just as we can learn from the events that happen for a reason. When a parent dies we can choose to value the time that we have with our loved ones. We can choose to value the days that we are given. When we have a red light instead of a green light, we can choose to take a deep breath and accept the limitations of time and accept that we might be late (and handle it with as much grace as we can muster and plan differently next time).
Whether there’s a reason for events or not, we can choose to be wiser because of those experiences. When it comes to the suffering part… I’m inclined to think we are all programmed the way we are programmed. Some of us will be more emotional and some of us will tend to be stoic… and some of us may appear to be stoic on the outside but may have more complex feelings out of sight. Whether emotional or not, I think the key thing is to not lose our heads. To choose to be sensible even if we don’t feel clear headed. Perhaps easier said than done. But I find that there’s a sort of touchstone within me… remembering what is good. Choosing to see what is worthwhile. And perhaps a little bit of letting go of control and a bit of acceptance. Life can be random. But perhaps that is what keeps Life an adventure.
And with regard to big changes in one’s life:
A blank canvas can be an intimidating thing. And I think virtually every creative endeavor of mine involves self doubt for at least the first half of the creation process. But if I simply focus on the creating rather than on the achieving, I enjoy the process a lot more.
Possibility (and a little boldness) is what adventures are made of. Embrace it.
